UPenn Welcomes The Asian Playboy
UPenn Welcomes The Asian Playboy
What: Special Seminar at UPenn
When: Thursday, 2/9/12 at 8:30pm
Where: University of Pennsylvania
John M. Huntsman Hall (JMHH), room 245
3730 Walnut Street
Philadelphia, PA 19104
(between 38th Street & 37th Street)
Dear Better Asian Man: Why does the bootcamp include a lecture before going out to the nightclubs?
Dear Better Asian Man,
Why does the bootcamp include a lecture before going out to the nightclubs?
-Z.
Dear Z.,
Thanks for writing in, and for supporting BetterAsianMan.com!
I actually have to refer you to JT Tran, the creator of the ABCs of Attraction bootcamps. He designed the curriculum, so I really have no clue what his reasoning is there. You can contact him at 888-689-GAME.
I can, however, tell you how the lecture portion of the bootcamp helped me out. There are some things that I learned there that would have been pretty impossible to learn in a nightclub. Intuitively, you might think that Read more…
Better Than Ever
Dear Friends and Fans,
What’s up people? We have just recently migrated to a new provider with all kinds of features and conveniences that make it easier for me to post content for you guys. So, as I go through the process of migrating the essays, podcasts, and interviews from the old server to the new server, you may notice that some of the historical content is not currently visible. But don’t worry! Every single essay, podcast, and interview, has been systematically archived and catalogued, and will be migrated over here in due time. I’ll always be here for you to refer to, and to hopefully use as a springboard for inspiration as you move forward in your own life and find your own adventures.
As a side note, I have to say thanks again to all of you who have been so supportive of this website. The personal experiences and thoughts that many have you have shared with me over the years has been very touching and inspiring and is like the icing on the cake for me. As I have been migrating the old content here to the new server, I’ve been re-reading the essays that I wrote on this website more than 3 years ago. As I read these historical artifacts from my life, I am really amazed at how timeless that stuff is. The struggles, inner conflicts, and challenges that I described are still just as pertinent today as they were three years ago in that every man must face those challenges and overcome them before he can truly call himself a man. I hope that you too will go on to write about how you overcame your own struggles in your own life, share them with others, and inspire them to go on to seek their own solutions.
-William
Dear Better Asian Man,
I’ve listened to your podcast since 2009. It helped me tremendously.
Thank you very much for creating this podcast. I truly appreciate your time, effort and energy in giving back to other Asian American men in an area that is vastly under served.
U.
Dear U.,
Thank you for writing in, and for supporting betterasianman.wordpress.com! Running this website has been a journey that I have found to be greatly fulfilling, and I am really happy to hear that I have had a positive influence in your life. As you move forward and discover your own adventures, I invite you to return to share your experiences so that you can be an inspiration to someone else just as I have been to you.
-William
Happy New Year!
Dear Friends and Fans,
Thanks so much for supporting this website. It’s really been a wonderful year for me, and I hope that you have gained some benefit from the information and perspective provided here. I can recall waaaaaaaay back in the day, when my new year’s resolution was to learn how to get better with women. During the four years that have passed since then, I’ve achieved that goal, and so many more, and as of last year, my girlfriend and I set goals that we want to achieve together. I know, it’s crazy, right?
Being in a relationship is really great. However, we an talk all day until we’re blue in the face about how awesome relationships are but that won’t count for shit if you can’t first meet, attract, and date lots and lots of women with regularity. And the only way that I know of to learn how to do that effectively, with the right fundamental skills, and with the right principles, is by taking an ABCs of Attraction bootcamp. So if you reading this and you haven’t yet mastered those skills, perhaps you’ll consider making that your New Year’s Resolution for 2012.
-William
Another Shameless plug for Yellow Green Beret, Volume I
Yellow Green Beret, Volume I
Wong provides plenty of anecdotes that have a humorous feel to them and are highly entertaining, but anyone labeling this as a “funny” or “light hearted” book would be making a sorely mistaken over-simplification. Wong’s depth of understanding of the human condition is expansive, and he demonstrates this in his narration of the various events and experiences that he persevered through on his own, as well as the experiences he shared alongside his friends, colleagues, and fellow servicemen. In each chapter of Yellow Green Beret (Volume I), Wong effortlessly connects seemingly disparate topics into a single unit that serves to demonstrate a specific lesson, goal, or realization that he arrived at during that particular phase of his life experience. What do wilderness survival, meth dealers, smelly dudes cuddling together for body warmth, and, um….. Papa John’s Pizza have to do with each other? You’ll just have to read it to find out.
I am no warrior– far from it. I know next to nothing about the American military, how its structured, what our nation’s soldiers do to protect our country, and quite frankly, I never really cared. As is evident by 99% of the material you see in my essays and podcasts, the only real struggle I have dealt with in my lifetime has been figuring out how to get better with women, and how to overcome my extreme loneliness and depression (which, at the time, seemed insurmountable to me in the feeble state that I was in). Reading about the ordeals– emotional, mental, and physical– that Wong had to go through in order to stand side-by-side with some of the most highly trained soldiers was completely mind-blowing to me. As I read the details of what a fellow Asian American man went through during this same time period (note: I’m just guessing that we are about the same age based on the cultural references made in the book), I can only say that if I were in the same room with this guy I would definitely feel inadequate standing next to him. Yes, being lonely sucks, having zero skills with women sucks, being able to only go out on 2 dates per year, on average, over the course of my entire life really really sucks, but can you imagine going for a hike through a mountain range with 100+ lbs of gear, every day, for multiple days, only being able to eat what is basically about 2 slices of Oscar Meyer’s ham? Can you imagine going through a training that is so demanding that you will bring yourself to consume the contents of a salt packet? Do you know how hungry you have to be in order to WANT to do that? Then, can you imagine going to war and being in a nearly similar situation for real? I haven’t, and I probably never will, and its thanks to guys like Wong to take care of those things for me, and for all of us. This is what has afforded me the luxury of being able to have loneliness and romantic ineptitude be the only things I needed to worry about in life.
It is only in the title of this volume, and in a few short sentences in the epilogue that you will find any specific reference to Wong’s “Asian-ness” or anything specifically addressing Asian American issues. I recall, waaaaaayy back in my days prior to my transition period, when I was seriously confused about my “identity as an Asian American” (and also seriously confused about how the hell I was supposed to ever even talk to a girl, much less romantically connect with one), I could see myself getting my panties in a bunch over something as myopic as “but he doesn’t address what it means to be an Asian American in the military!!”. I recall being in many conversations with many of my peers regarding various Asian men that were visible in mainstream media such as Yul Kwon, Masi Oka, Jackie Chan, etc., and how we would be all riled up that they, in one way or
another, didn’t live up to some expectation we had of how a publicly visible Asian man should address Asian American issues and “represent Asian American Men.” However, in the case of Chester Wong, there is no question in my mind that just knowing that he is Asian American from the title and byline of the book is more than enough representation for me. In one anecdote, Wong describes his working relationship with the the leader of a foreign military unit in Kurdistan, and over the course of the long and complex story arc that he unfolds for us, it is evident to me that Wong is the quintessential role model that all Asian American men can look up to. Even after re-reading that particular section twice, I am still amazed at all of the things that Wong did during that period– establishing a relationship of trust with a foreign military leader, training a foreign military unit, facing a full range of successes, failures, obstacles, navigating the complex politics and social hierarchy of a foreign nation, planning and executing complex military operations, enjoying the highs of situations that worked out well, and dealing with the ramifications of situations that did not work out well. For many of us, accomplishing so many things at a similar level of complexity could not be achieved in an entire lifetime, or even in multiple lifetimes. Wong is simultaneously an untouchable hero that I can’t imagine holding a candle to, and at the same time he is unmistakably human and relates his story with a humility that makes me feel that he is addressing his writing specifically to me.
I am honored to have the chance to read this book, I’m really happy to share my thoughts on it with all of you fine people. I have recently started a new section on this website called “Manly Skills,” and as much as I’m enjoying writing about my personal experiences and perspectives on manliness, I’d like to suggest that you read about what Wong has done in his life as an extremely high, if not impossibly high, goal to set for yourself in terms of what you could do in your own life to improve your own Manly Skills. Sure, you might not be able to consistently knock out your peers in a boxing match, but you can understand, imitate, and unleash the same drive within yourself that Wong describes in his experiences with boxing at West Point (Manly Skills: Ambition, Competitive Spirit). You might not be able to survive 28 days in a frozen winter forest environment without a single ounce of food, but you can understand, imitate, and unleash the potential within you to set your sights on a goal, and see it through to the end (even if you fail the first time and have to try again) in order to bring yourself to a higher place in your education, profession, training, or life (Manly Skill: Determination). You might not be able to hike through a harsh mountain range all day, for multiple days, with only the equivalent of 2 slices of Oscar Meyer ham to eat each day while carrying 100+ lbs of gear, but you certainly can take the essence of that lesson and push yourself and your physical limits as far as they can go, and then work even harder to bring yourself to the next level past that (Manly Skill: Physical Dominance).
You’ve been waiting for more strong, dominant, and alpha Asian American men to look up to, and now, you have one more to add to your list. Visit www.yellowgreenberet.com today and pick up your copy of Yellow Green Beret (Volume I).
Podcast Episode: Do your bootcamp students ever get real girlfriends?
I recall, just a few years ago, when I would come up with an endless stream of questions, thoughts, feelings, opinions, and rationalizations, for ways that I could “disprove” for myself whether or not I thought bootcamps were useful, effective, or even necessary in the first place. It took a lot of harsh reality to set in before I realized that I was just not smart enough to figure out how to get good with women on my own and that I needed to seek instruction from a professional on how to learn those fundamental skills.
So, that brings me to today’s question & answer session, with a few questions sent in to me at betterasianman@yahoo.com. The subject of today’s podcast is very close to my heart as it hits on one of the questions that came up in my mind as I was going through that period of questions, mixed thoughts, mixed feelings, and tons of rationalizations as to whether or not I “needed” to take a bootcamp. That said, let’s dig right into the heart of the matter:
Dear Better Asian Man,
Do students of ABCs of Attraction bootcamps ever get girlfriends? I see a lot of photos on the Facebook fan page of guys with random girls, but what about real girlfriends?
-Anonymous
Click here to download this podcast.
Podcast Episode: What do you talk about when you talk to girls?
Lasting Contributions to Society
One of the lessons that I learned when I took the ABCs of Attraction 3-day “bootcamp” seminar 4 years ago was that after acquiring the right fundamental skills in meeting and dating women, the next step is to work on “other” areas of life. That weekend we learned about what the ABCs of Attraction calls the 10 pillars of inner strength. For the past four years I have been working on these 10 things, and today, I’d like to share with you one particular pillar that I’ve been working on: Lasting Contributions to Society.
The phrase “Lasting Contributions to Society” has a different meaning for everyone, but for me, this pillar is all about volunteer work. For me, volunteer work has to be 1) something that I enjoy doing, and 2) something that will have a lasting positive impact on society. Prior to taking the ABCs of Attraction bootcamp, and also prior to my transition period, I did some volunteer work, but I couldn’t “feel” that much fulfillment in it because I was empty inside. I was lonely. I was depressed. Thus, even though I was able to do a lot of volunteer work, my heart wasn’t in it the way I believe it should be.
Now that I have overcome those obstacles and have gotten through my transition period, I have plenty of romance in my life, plenty of awesome friends in my life, and I am “full” inside. This allowed me to look out into the world, and at my volunteer work, with a whole new perspective. One of the basic principles taught during the ABCs of Attraction bootcamp, which I now very much believe in and live to the fullest, is that a man should be the leader of his own life and actively choose his course in life, rather than passively existing. I later became a coach for the ABCs of Attraction, and as part of my belief that a man should also practice what he preaches, I set out on a path to choose the area of volunteer work I wanted to pursue, and I wanted to choose a type of volunteer work that would provide a lasting contribution to society.
So, after doing some research, I decided to join a volunteer ambulance team. I am happy to say that I have been a member of a volunteer ambulance team for a while now, and I am really enjoying it. It was a long process to get to where I am, but I made it, and I’m doing what I set out to do. The process involved 5-months of evening classes, a state certification exam, followed by a lengthy application process to get into a volunteer ambulance team. Now that I’m here, I have to say it’s pretty awesome. I love the people that I volunteer with, and I enjoy being a part of the first line of Emergency Response to people in the community. It’s truly awesome.
If you were once like me– romantically inept and utterly unable to meet and date girls, but then overcame those obstacles and are happy with your romantic life, then I challenge you to think about what “Lasting Contributions to Society” means to you. Will you work on this aspect of your the 10 pillars of inner strength?
Living LIfe in the Real World
Hey folks! I’m just visiting the internet after several months of…. life 
Back in the day, when I was writing lots and lots of essays on this website, pouring my heart out (while working out some of my thoughts, ideas, and feelings), I really got so caught up in it that I couldn’t see the forest for the trees. The time that I once spent writing essays, producing podcasts, and researching ideas for future essays and podcasts, is now spent with the people I love, and doing the things that I love.
One particular aspect I would like to share with you today is a page out of the “10 Pillars of Inner Strength.” This is a bullet list that I got from the ABCs of Attraction blog which describes 10 things that, if you constantly work on, will help you build “inner strength” and an intrinsic sense of self worth. So the particular item that I have been working on for the past few months is The Spartan Race. I just completed “Spartan Super” this past weekend, and it was so much fun. I ran this 8 mile obstacle course with 2 of my closest friends, and we helped each other throughout the course. It was a truly awesome experience. Of the 10 pillars, this one is the “Competitive Spirit” pillar.
The “Competitive Spirit” means something different for everyone, but for me, it’s all about engaging in some sport or activity that has a definitive goal that must be worked towards because the nature of that activity is that it is challenging in one way or another. Well, the Spartan race is challenging in many ways, and all you need to do is watch the first 10 seconds of any race video on their website and you’ll see what I mean.
So, as you go on with your daily life after you leave this page, I hope to leave you with a little bit of inspiration to go seek out how you will find, cultivate, and manifest your “Competitive Spirit.” Once you find the sport or activity you want to participate in, I hope you suddenly find yourself changing various aspects of your life for the better– exercising more (or differently than you used to), eating healthier, making your sleep schedule more regular, etc., etc. That’s pretty much what I did in the months before I ran the Spartan Race this weekend, and I’ve already started that process all over again…. to prepare for the Spartan race that my friends and I will be competing in next year
